bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
