a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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