Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
