good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Someone came in the potted fern
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
