fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
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