He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
