I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
