So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
