Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
