it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
