The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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