so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
