Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
