"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ugly people sure do ruin things
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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