She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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