Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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