CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
