What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
