I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hippo gnu deer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
