i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
