I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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