Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
