He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
dude. I can hear the air.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
