Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm so fucking centered right now
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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