If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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