Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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