they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
