So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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