Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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