He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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