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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
