The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
