I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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