I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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