All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
