so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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