just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
