Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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