At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
