Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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