Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
