Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
