I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
