you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
