Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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