There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dear god my vagina.
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