Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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