what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
