But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
