Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Everything about him screamed your future.
i dont even know how to be here
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
