this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
